A Kiss To Remember
by sashasbum
Summary: Multi-chapter fic. Jane and Casey's wedding day, will it all go to plan? Or will the bride finally admit that her heart lies elsewhere? And if she does, will the owner be waiting for her? *Chapter 6 is an authors note, a reply to a review. Won't be deleted yet*
1. Confessions

**A/N: Hey, this is going to be a multi-chapter fic. Shouldn't be too long, but who knows. Urm, set in season 3 I guess, cos Caseys back. But Frank Snr. is still there, so yeah. Maybe this should be considered just totally AU. I don't know. So, urm...yeah, enjoy? Review? whatever :P ahaha...have fun!**

**Disclaimer: I own zilch. I am poor :P I can't even afford to buy my wifey a ring ;)  
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_"I'm in love with you."_

_Those were the only words on the piece of paper Jane was currently holding onto for her life. She could hear her best friend say them as she felt across the letters, feeling their indent on the paper. She could her say it though, because she could remember her saying them to her the last time they were together, 3 weeks ago. Which was Janes wedding day._

"Congratulations baby. It's finally here. Are you ready to be Mrs Casey Jones?" Jane felt her eyes begin to water uncontrollably as her mother spoke and gave compliments on the dress Jane she was wearing, despite knowing how much her daughter had protested to wearing it in the first place. It wasn't that she wasn't happy to be getting married. She was, she loved Casey. But that was all. She wasn't in love with him. But she figured that the person she was in love with would never love her back and, feeling she owed Casey happiness, she agreed to marry him.

"Yeh. Course I am, Ma. Wouldn't be here if I wasn't would I?"

She just didn't want to hurt him. So, she went along with it all. Buying a dress, even though she wanted a suit (only one person could get her into a dress that easily and Casey most certainly wasn't them). She met with her old priest, put on fake smiles at her engagement party, even had a family meal with Casey and his parents. There was always something missing though. Maura. She wasn't invited to the meal, not being immediate family and all, or so Casey argued. Jane wanted her there, more than anything. She was Mauras family, even if it wasn't by blood. She was Maura's everything. Just as Jane was Maura's. But Casey said no, told Angela she couldn't come and Angela conceded. Why go against the man who would be making an honest woman of her daughter? So she had to go, alone, and sit through hours of boring talk and childhood tales which she could care less about, whilst texting her best friend under the table. After, she went to Mauras and complained about the whole event, but Casey rang as they were preparing for bed and convinced Jane to return to her apartment where he was waiting for her.

"Oh, Maura darling. You look stunning. Janie, you picked such lovely dresses for your bridesmaids. Who knew you had it in you?" She grinned.

"Ma. Stop. Maura picked her own dress and we just got the others the same. I did nothin'. It was all her. She's the genius behind this." She spoke, gazing lovingly at the mentioned woman.

"Thank you Mrs Rizzoli. But I must say Jane is the one who is looking stunning. She's absolutely beautiful."

"Hey! I thought you couldn't lie."

"I can't! And even if I could, a matter such as this I would never lie about. Jane..." Maura slowly stepped towards her, lowering her voice so the woman she was talking to would be the only one to hear her speak. "I've never seen anyone look as beautiful, or...magnificent as you do now."

They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments, passing unspoken messages to the other. In that moment, Jane was certain her feelings were reciprocated. But she daren't question it. Not now. And especially not in the presence of her mother.

"I'm really glad you're here Maura. You're my best friend, my chosen family. I...I couldn't do this without you." Jane stuttered, the emotions of what she was about to do getting to her.

Maura nodded, too overwhelmed herself at the days events to speak anymore. Jane sensed something in Maura just wanting to break free, and Jane wanted...no _needed_, to know what it was before she left that room and changed her life.

"Ma, girls, could...could you give us a minute?"

Maura stepped away from Jane and walked to the dresser, away from Angela, in hopes of disguising her tears from the others in the room.

"Janie! No...you need to go out yourself soon. You can talk to Maura afterwards."

"Ma. Out. Now." Jane growled at her mother, wishing she'd take a hint. With a huff, her mother nodded and turned, leaving the room. But not before warning them she'd be back in 5 minutes and they better be ready for her. Hesitantly, Jane approached the shorter woman. "Maur..."

"You really are beautiful Jane. Casey is lucky. You must love him very much."

"I do." She noticed Maura's shoulders slump. Feeling more hopeful, she continued. "But not enough. It'll never be enough."

The doctor gasped, turning to face Jane tears forming in her eyes. "What...what are you saying Jane? Do you not want to marry him?"

"I din't say that. I just said...I don't love 'im enough. I'm not in love with_ him _Maura."

"Could you grow to?"

The tall brunette shook her head. "No. Not as long as I have you."

Shocked, Maura looked Jane directly in the eye. "I'm in love with you Jane. I'm so in love with you." Grinning, Jane quickly stepped over to Maura, putting her hands on the shorter womans arms and pulling her closer. "I love you." Jane leaned closer, aiming to brush the blondes soft, plump lips with her own. "But it's too late."

Jane stalled. "Maur. No...what?"

"You need to go out there, and marry Casey. Because he deserves you more than I do. He makes you happy, you make him happy."

"No. Maura, _you _make me happy."

"Jane, listen." She cupped the detectives cheeks, keeping her in place. She wiped away a few tears before continuing. "Me and you, Jane, we'd never work out. We're too different. Casey...he's your high school sweetheart. Who can compete with that? I...I'm just...the 'queen of the dead'. Who'd pick her over him?"

"Me, Maura. I pick you. I'd pick you every time if you gave me the chance!" Jane was sobbing visibly by now. The woman she loved, loved her back, and was telling her to get married anyway.

"Jane, please. Don't make this harder, okay. Yes, I love you...but I'll never be enough for you. You can learn to love Casey as much as you love me. You have to."

"No-"

"-Yes Jane. I'm no good for you. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve you giving up the rest of your life to spend with me. I'm sorry Jane, I really am. But this is what's best for you."

"Do I not get a say? This is my life, surely I get to choose how to spend it?" Jane argued, forcing Mauras hands off her face.

"You already did. You said yes to him Jane. You didn't have to, on some level, you love him enough to marry him. And I refuse to compete with that. I will not break that man's heart just to do what my own wishes." Stepping again closer to Jane, Maura this time put just one hand on her cheek, the other resting on the taller woman's hips. "I love you Jane. But you should be with him."

Closing the distance between them, Maura firmly placed her lips on top of the other woman's and kissed her passionately. Finally, breaking away for air, the women leant their foreheads together.

"Please, Maura. Don't do this. Don't break_ my_ heart by walking out of this room."

"It'll heal. He'll heal it. Me...I'm nothing." Stepping away from the other way, she reached down, straightening her dress. "I think I should go."

"You don't hav-"

"Yes. I do...because if I stay, I won't be able to let him marry you. And you have to. So, I'm going."

"Maura...at least..."

"At least_ what, _Jane?"

"One more time? For me to remember?" She pleaded, puppy dog eyes coming out.

The blonde chuckled, a smile finally falling on her lips. "As long as you promise not to think of it when you're with him. I couldn't bear-"

"-Never, Maura. I could never do that."

Maura nodded, and did as the woman asked. She kissed her, with all the passion and love she could muster, tasting the other woman on her tongue. She broke away before it became too much for her. "Goodbye Jane." She whispered, before rushing out of the door leaving Jane on her own.

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**A/N: There it is. Chapter 1, tad on the short side, but it'll be right...what d'you think? Rushed? Out of character? Alright? Lemme know!**


	2. Jilted

**A/N: Oh my gosh guys! Thank you so freakin' much for all the alerts and reviews, especially the author alerts! I mean...whaaaaaat? How is this even possible? Why am I getting so much love? I must admit, it's just what I've needed though after the past few days :/ so yeah...I love you guys. Anywhere...here's to Chapter 2 *cheers***

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Against her word, Angela hadn't returned after five minutes. Having seen Maura running out of the room crying, she knew Jane needed a few moments to herself. When she finally entered the quarters where Jane was situated, Jane had just stood from the dresser, looking flawless in her strapless, ivory dress. It was what could be defined a "fairy-tale" dress. It was large, puffy and definately not something Jane would wear. She turned, showing her face, her make-up back to the perfect way it had been earlier. Nobody would be able to tell she'd just been crying. Nobody...but her mother. However, Angela being Angela, and wanting her daughter to marry before she died dismissed it, resolving to ask her about it later.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, Ma. Lets get this over with." She quickly walked past her mother and walked over to the bridesmaids, who were already ready for the wedding procession. She took a deep breath and held tightly to the flowers she'd been handed.

"Will Dr Isles be long? We really need to get started." Frank Snr. asked.

"I don't need a maid of honour, Pop, let's just go. Ma, you need to go sit down."

"Alright, alright. I'm going. I love you baby. You sure you got everything?"

"Yes, god, Ma. Wait...crap, no. My vows. Maura wrote 'em. I...I _need_ them. Ma, they're on the dresser. In a sealed envelope. Go get them for me? We'll start."

"Of course darling. Go, go." Angela called, already on her way back to the room.

"Oh, Ma?" Angela turned, letting her daughter know she heard her. "It better still be sealed when I get it." Angela sighed, scowling at Janes retreating figure and rushed to get them as Jane began her walk down the ancient churchs walkway.

She couldn't look at Casey as she got closer to him, afraid he'd notice the look in her eyes and back out himself. _If Maura wants it this way, then this way it'll be._

-x-

Casey could tell something was wrong as Jane walked down the aisle, without Maura and refusing to look at him. He knew it was wrong, that this wedding shouldn't be happening, but he's been through so much, they both had, both together and apart. He just wanted to be happy and thinking he made Jane happy, made him happy. Marrying her was just the cherry on the cake. Marrying Jane would make everything alright again. But Mauras disappearance unnerved him. After all their fights over her, why would she go ahead with this without her best friend? Confusion settled on his face, trying to decipher Janes body language, trying to determine what was wrong. _If I was Maura, this'd be easy. _He thought. _Bingo. Maura._

Realising the reason behind his fiances behaviour, Casey sighed, knowing what he should do. But when she finally looked up at him, smiling cautiously, he figured he was wrong. _It's just cold feet. She'll never admit her feelings for Maura and this could be my last chance. _Resolving to forget what he realised earlier, he grinned back at the brunette and held her hand and the priest began the ceremony.

-x-

_This is it_, Jane thought. The ceremony was already part way through by now, but Jane had only just realised how much her life would change if she married Casey. No more sleepovers with Maura, not as many after work drinks, double dates with Maura and some poncy guy who'll she'll diagnose half way through and then be left. With us. Making it impossible for Jane to hide her staring. _Can I really do this? Can I choose Casey over Maura?_

"It's time for the vows. Casey, you're first." The priest informed the couple and their audience, pulling Jane from her thoughts.

"Jane. I...I love you. You've been here for me, through everything. I know we had a few years where we didn't speak, but talking to you again, I realised how much I missed you. How much I wanted you in my life. I'm so grateful you allowed me back in your life. Like you said, we're just two people who've been through some bad things. But we've also been through some good, some really good things. When you said yes, I was overjoyed. I couldn't believe I finally had someone as amazing as you. So Jane, I can't promise to be perfect and to never argue, or to never get worried when you have to work all night to solve a case, but today, I do promise that I will never forget what you've done for me, I will never let you be alone again and I will love you, beyond my dying day."

Jane was crying, again. She knew Casey loved her, more than she could ever think of loving him. Someone tapped her on the arm. Turning she noticed it was her mother, the envelope she collected earlier in her hand. "Thanks, Ma." She smiled lightly, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

"So, my turn. Casey...I...urm, hang on." She was struggling to open the envelope through her tears. Finally, she managed to tear it open and open the folded paper. She froze, staring at the paper. She could hear people around her mumuring, Casey trying to get her attention, but she didn't care. She was focused on the paper.

_I'm in love with you._

Jane knew instantly that it was for her, not for her to read to Casey. She was shaking, the tears flowing freely now. "I...I...I can't." She raised her eyes from the paper to look at the man across from her, his eyes filled with sadness. She spoke quietly, to ensure no one overheard them. "I'm so sorry Casey. I can't do this...I'm not in love with you. I love you, I do, but not the way you love me. You deserve someone better than me, who loves you more than anythin' in the world. Someone who wants to be with you fully. Thats not me Casey, and even though I'd try, it never could be me."

He nodded, after a pause to take it in. He gathered Jane in a tight hug, letting her know he understood. "It's okay Jane. Truth is, I don't think I was really in love with you either. More in the love with the idea of being in love with you " This recieved a sad smile from the woman in question. "Go get her Jane, before its too late."

Jane pulled away, stunned at his comment."What? How?"

"I've known you for a long time Jane. When she walks in a room, you're the happiest I've ever seen you. I was wrong to keep you from that. And I hope you forgive me."

"Me forgive you? Casey, I'm jilting you at the alter! It should be the other way round!"

"I'm the one who was taking a woman away from the love of her life for my own advantage. It's all on me. Now go. Get the woman you love." He grinned sincerly.

"Thank you Case! I love you."

"Yeah. Well, I love you too. Now, seriously. Go. Before I change my mind." He slapped her jokingly, pushing her back down the isle. However Jane was quickly intercepted by a body in the walkway.

"Jane Rizzoli. You tell me what is happening right this minute!" Angela shouted, getting everyone in the churchs attention.

"Ma, move. I have to find Maura." She tried pushing past but Angela forced her back.

"Why? Janie, can't you just be a_ girl_ for once and do what I want? Just marry Casey and I will help you find Maura later. Why does this have to be now?"

"I'm not marrying Casey, Ma!"

"You're what? Yes you are, young lady. Get back up there now and say your vows." Angela hollered in her face.

"Ma. Stop. I'm not marrying Casey, I'm not in love with 'im. Now I'm gonna go find the woman that I_ am_ in love with. So, please. _Move_."

The elder Rizzoli, stunned at her daughters sudden confession, stepped the side allowing her to pass. Jane nodded her thanks as she walked away and ran out the church, without a single look back.

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**A/N: There you go! Hope you liked it :D Tell me what you think maybe? and see y'all soon!**


	3. Screaming

**A/N: Here's another chapter folks. I really struggled with this; just…couldn't seem to get it started. But here it is…and my longest chapter yet. Not by much, but still the longest :P Anyway, urm…don't hate me? Kay…I kinda know where this is going, but to say I originally planned this to be just a one-shot and this happened, who knows! *shrugs* oh, and I will reply to reviews. Eventually. I promise! Anyway, enjoy :) and…spoiler alert…imagine the stranger to be JCap, kay?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did, I wouldn't be writing this. And I'd probably have a social life.**

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After running out of the church and down its walkway, Jane came to a halt on the pavement, leaning out to find a taxi. Not seeing any in the immediate distance, Jane took off running in the direction of the park, where they would usually go for some space. Approaching their usual bench, she saw a blonde haired woman sat there and, immediately thinking it was Maura, sped up her ran. Rounding the bench, the brunette fell to knees, tears once again rising in her eyes.

"Maura. Oh my god, Maura. I...I...I can't believe I did that. But I did. Maura...I lo-" she paused. Finally looking at the blonde on the bench, she saw the stunned expression of a woman who most certainly was not Maura. "Crap. I'm sorry...I, I thought you were someone I know. I...I'm sorry."

The woman, looking slightly flabbergasted, meekly nodded her head. "It's...it's alright. Are...are you okay? You're...urm," She nodded her head at Janes clothing.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I'm good. Great actually."

"Alright. You just...did you just leave a wedding?_ Your _wedding?"

Laughing slightly, Jane sat beside the woman. "Yeah. I did...and now I'm trying to find the woman I left my fiancé for. But I don't even know where to start."

"You'll work it out, if you love her as much as I think you do, it'll come to you. You'll find her."

Jane gave a smile to the stranger. "Thanks. So, why are you here?"

"What makes you think I have a reason?"

"Your body language when I first spotted you." _Body language? You don't know what you do to me Maura Isles._ "That's why I thought you were Maura; you looked like you were thinking about something...big. You had this head tilt. She does that when she's thinking about something."

The woman furrowed her eyebrows, "Alright then. That's...anyway. I...urm, my mother just told me I have a sister that I never knew about. My whole life, I thought I was an only child, but now...now everything changed."

"I'm sure she had her reasons for not telling you. A mother only keeps things from her children to protect them, and the way round." Jane smiled knowingly at her, finally taking in her appearance. She was dressed in running gear. Tight, running gear. "Did you come on a run?"

"What? Oh...uh, yeah. It's my go to thing. I wasn't concentrating and fell, so I thought I'd sit down."

"Are you alright? Maura's a doctor. If you want, you can come with me? She'll sort you out...if I ever find that is." she sighed.

"And get between you two, no thanks. That'd be...awkward." Laughing together, Jane realised she felt comfortable with this woman, this stranger.

"This is weird. I...I feel so comfortable, talking to you. I haven't had this...well, since I met _her._"

"Likewise, but you needn't worry. I'm as straight as they come, I won't try to steal you away." She winked at the woman beside her. "I would really appreciate someone looking at this. I'd normally go to my mom for these things, but..." she shrugged. Jane, having had similar, but obviously not identical, situations nodded her understanding. "Come on. My cars over there. I can drive you where ever you want to go. Then you can stop getting that dress so dirty."

Laughing, the women walked over to where the blonde motioned, accepting that the comforting feeling they were having was just meant to be.

-x-

They sat, once again, in a comfortable silence. Even after only having known each other for barely half an hour, the two felt as though they'd known each other for years, like they could tell each other anything they wanted and they could trust the other with what they said. After looking at the Dirty Robber and BPD headquarters, where Jane got many strange looks, especially off Stanley, but didn't slow enough to be able to effectively scare them from saying anything, Jane had all but given up. Now, sitting in this stranger's car, she sighed, figuring she'll just have to stick to ringing her.

"Hey, do you have a phone I can borrow?" The driver nodded, reaching over Jane to the side pocket and pulled out a fairly new phone, dropping it on Janes lap as she sat back up. "Thanks." Jane dialed the number that had been imprinted on her memory since it was given to her. She realised that she'd never remembered a number before for no other reason but that she wanted to. Pushing the thought aside for a moment, she pressed the green button and put the phone to her ear.

_"Hello. This is Doctor Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Boston, Massachusetts." _A soft professional voice spoke through the handset. _"I'm afraid I am not able to answer your call at this time, but if it is an emergency, then leave your name number and a message after the tone. If it is not an emergency, please call back at a later time. Thank you."_

"Hey, Maur. It's Jane. I...I've looked everywhere for you and I just...I need to see you. I love me. Me and Casey...we were both stupid. Even if we tried our marriage would have never worked out. He let me go Maura. He let leave and find you. I'm also pretty sure I've lost my mother, so...I'd be super grateful if you could ring me back. Please, Maura. I love you." Putting down the phone, she wiped her face with her hand, hoping to hide her tears from the other woman in the car. However, knowing she failed when a pack of tissues were put in front of her face.

"You can cry if you want. I don't mind." Smiling gratefully, Jane shook her head. No, she wouldn't cry. Crying would mean failure and she wasn't ready for that. "I know this may be a stupid question, but did you check her house or apartment or whatever?"

Laughing at herself for her stupidity, her tears started up again, worse than before at the thought that she might finally see Maura. "No. Oh my god, how did I not think of that? We need to go there. Now."

-x-

Arriving at Maura's house, Jane hesitated. _I'm finally going to be with Maura. This is it. My life is really about to change. For real this time._ Taking a deep breath, Jane stepped out of the car, after asking the blonde to wait to be called over. Walking up the pathway to Mauras house, she had to concentrate on taking every step and not tripping. If you were an outsider looking in, you could tell she was nervous. She was physically shaking, her arms stuck out slightly, not too noticeable unless you were right behind her, trying to keep herself balanced. After what felt like a walk of doom, Jane finally arrived at the little front door that signified the front of the doctor's home. She knocked, and waited. But there was no reply. She tried again, to the same results and resorted to bang louder on the doors.

"Maura, come on! Open the door, I know you're here." Jane shouted, still pounding the door, trying to get its owner to answer. During her time knocking, it had begun to rain, but Jane didn't care, all she wanted was for Maura to answer. Her dress was soaking, hanging heavily on her body, but she pushed through it, not one for giving up this close to the end."Please Maura. I…I need to come out here. I need you to tell me you love me. Because I love you Maura, I love you so much that I just left everyone back at that god damn church to come find you. I left everyone Maura, my entire family. And I'm pretty sure ma doesn't approves of this, but you know what? I don't care. Because I can live without 'em, I can live without all of them. But you, I can't live without you Maura. So please, come out, because now I'm standing in the rain in a wedding dress on my wedding day professing my feelings, again, for the love of my life. I just want you to come out Maura. Please?" She finished her speech and took a deep breath, the emotion of the day finally taking its toll on her body. "Please Maura." She whispered.

In the distance, she heard a car driving down the street, but thought nothing of it. That was, until it pulled up into Mauras drive. She was stunned, she was certain Maura had been in the house, she had to be. Steadily, she turned around to face the car, using an arm to shield her eyes from the rain. It wasn't Maura's car. Which meant this wasn't Maura. _If you're not Maura, who the hell are ya?_ A middle aged woman exited the car, and walked over to Jane. She instantly recognized her as the woman from the maid service that Maura used whenever she went away, Sofia.

"Detective Rizzoli, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be at your wedding party!" the woman asked, quickly pulling Jane off the grass she had drifted to and onto the paved area of the lawn.

"I…I'm looking for Maura. I'm sorry, but why are you here?"

"Doctor Isles called last night, said she was leaving after the wedding today and needed someone to come in and take care of the place whilst she was away." Sofia told Jane as though she should already know.

"Sh-She's gone? Where? For how long?"

"I don't know Detective, but indefinitely. She didn't tell you?"

"Uh…yeah, of course she did. I'm her best friend, why wouldn't she tell me?" Jane forced a smile, hiding the pain she felt inside. "I'm sorry for interrupting. Please uh…do your thing."

"I will Miss. Goodbye. Oh…and, congratulations." With that the woman walked into the house and out of sight. As soon as the door was shut, Jane turned, facing the car of her new friend. Seeing her already out of the car and hurriedly making her way over with an umbrella, broke the last bit of strength Jane had. She collapsed to the ground, her head dropping forwards with a new surge of tears surfacing.

"She…she's gone. Maura's gone. She left me."

Sighing, the other woman helped pick Jane up and took her back to the car and sat her in the passenger seat. After getting into the car herself, she removed the jacket from her back and covered Jane with it, hoping to keep her warm and turned the heating on in the car, her face laced with concern.

"I'm so sorry…I, I don't even know your name." She frowned, suddenly realizing this fact.

Jane turned to her, eyes red and blotchy, her lower lip stuck out slightly. "I'm Jane. Jane Rizzoli." The blonde woman nodded, a smile forcing its way onto her face.

"I'm Arizona. Arizona Martin."

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**A/N: There you have it, Chapter 3! I feel so bad that I haven't got them together yet :/ and I totally know how you feel right now, but it'll happen soon! I promise. Oh, and I had no idea how to spell Maura's half sisters name, so…Arizona is what I chose. Besides, JCap is too darn adorable 3**

**Don't expect and update tomorrow, it's my mums graduation so I won't have any time to write or post or anything. Hopefully I shouldn't anyway. So yeah, I hope you liked…review? Critise? Just…do it, yeah :P I'M SORRY!**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS :D**


	4. Sorry

**A/N: Oh god guys, I'm so sorry for the delay! So much has been happening, it all just go too much. I had deaths, and birthdays and work and graduations and results and university and life to solve, fanfiction just sort of ended up being pushed out! I'm so sorry. But here is the next chapter, finally! It's probably not as good as it could have been, but I can always come back and edit later! So, read and review or whatever? Lemme know if I lost it all? Not beta'd or anything as I wanted to just get it up for you all. So, let me know of any mistakes okay? thanks!  
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**I don't own anythingggg. well, expect for S1 and S2 on DVD finally :D but if I did. They'd definately have admitted their love after everything with Dennis. I mean, seriously...Jane all cutesy with a baby must have awoken something in Maura, right? ;)  
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"Arizona _Martin_, you say?" Jane asked through gritted teeth. _Isn't Maura's mom called _Hope _Martin? Could she be...? She looks so much like her, but could it all be a coincidence? No. Maura doesn't believe in coincidences. Why should I? _"That's, uh...that's a pretty name."

"Thanks." Arizona smiled warmly, starting the car and driving away for the dark house. She didn't know where she was headed but she felt like Jane would just appreciate being away from that house, so she was just going to drive around until she was directed somewhere. After a few moments of silence, she began talking again, not wanting the brunette to have time to think and start crying again. "So, you're Italian then?"

Pulled from her trance just staring out of the window, Jane frowned. "Wha...uh, yeah. How...?"

"Your surname, Rizzoli. There are many variations of the name, including Ricco, the main connotation which, funnily enough, is the Italian for curly and are thought to have originated from Italy in the early 13th Century. But, I don't know much so...don't necessarily take what I say to be the truth, alright?"

_Oh my god! There's no chance of this being coincidental. She's just like her, her mannerisms, the way she talk, the random facts. She has to be Maura's sister...or at least related. Closely. _"I, uh, actually knew all that. You know, being Italian and all." She chuckled. "But that's, urm...real interesting. You got anything else in there you wanna share?"

"Did you know, in ancient Greece, homosexual relationships were actually the preferred type, as there were based solely on love. The two in the relationship weren't together just to reproduce, so their bonds were considered to be stronger and more important than those of a heterosexual couple." Jane rose her eyebrows at the topic, but didn't interrupt, allowing Arizona to continue. "Also, in the Hindu religion, it is acceptable to be a homosexual, or to have homosexual children, as long as it wasn't a chosen thing. If you raise a child to be homosexual however, you are frowned upon within the religion.

"Wow...maybe I should just become a Hindu then. At least someone would accept me." The blonde looked at her sympathetically, wanting to interrupt, tell her she was accepted, but felt it would be best to stay quiet for now. "Anyway, you're like google mouth. Well, mini-google." She grinned at she remembered the many times that Maura would spout random things off from her google mouth, sobering up when she remembered she may never get that again.

"Mini google?" The other woman asked curiously, never taking her eyes off the road.

"Yeah. Mau-...Someone I know is like that too."

Arizona nodded sadly, knowing who Jane must have been referring to. She looked next to her briefly, seeing the look of utter despair that had placed itself upon Jane's face. She sighed, not knowing how to help her new friend. She settled for placing her hand on the brunettes, and squeezed lightly, hoping to give her some sort of comfort. "You are accepted Jane, you know? Even if at the moment, you don't feel it, you are. You've clearly gone through a lot today, just as everyone who was at the wedding has too. You all just need time. Then, things will be back to normal before you know it!"

Jane scoffed, but smiled gratefully at the blonde never the less, thanking her for her attempts to cheer her up. "Turn left in a minute. We can go to the Dirty Robber, have a couple of drinks. Get to know each other and forget today ever happened. Forget life happened."

"Urm, Jane...not that I wouldn't love to, but...you are still in your dress, remember."

"Oh, crap. I forgot, urm, another time then maybe?"

"Definitely. I have some cards in the pull down, take one. It has my number. So, where to then?" Arizona grinned, motioning to the pull out pocket on the passenger's side. Jane gave her the directions to her apartment, which luckily hadn't sold yet, and in less than 5 minutes the brunette was telling Arizona to pull over.

"This is me." She smiled appreciatively at the blonde. "Thank you...for everything. I really hope we can get that drink sometime."

"Definitely. Ring me whenever, I don't really have much of a life, so I'm pretty much constantly free."

"Great! I definitely will. Goodbye Arizona, I'm sorry for making you go through this today." Jane said, getting out of the car. Just as she was about to turn to walk away, she was stopped by the younger woman's voice.

"I'm sorry too. That she wasn't there. She'll come back, she will. She'd have to be stupid to let you go."

Jane hesitated. Taking a deep breath to keep the tears at bay, she turned briefly.

"Yeah? When...a week? A month? Three maybe? When?" She shook her head, fresh tears pooling in her eyes. "When will she come back? Because I don't think I can cope waiting for her, and her just...turning up again. But knowing Maura, she'll come back, right as I finally start to forget about her."

-x-

_3 months later_

"Come on 'Zona, we're gonna be late!" The tall, lanky brunette shouted up the stairs of her new best friend's house. "I don't even understand why I'm going, but I'm ready at least!"

"Jane, be quiet. you'll hurt your vocal chords. We can leave now, I was only looking for my lip gloss." Arizona strutted down the staircase towards Jane, talking as if it was the most valid excuse ever for meaning 20 minutes late. When the detective saw her, her jaw dropped. The other woman was wearing a tight fighting dress that showed off all the right curves and hid the others and gave anyone looking a spectacular view of her breasts.

"You know, if you weren't straight and I wasn't in love with my someone I'll probably never see again, we would most definitely not be leaving this house. In fact, we wouldn't even make it up the staircase." She winked, teasingly.

"I think I'll take that as a compliment and ignore the crudeness of what you just said." Arizona, childishly, stuck her tongue out at her friend, causing Jane to chuckle and recover from her immediate reaction to her appearance. "Now, you wanted to hurry didn't you? So hurry!" She slapped Jane on her behind, urging her to start moving forward. Jane froze, closing her eyes as tears began to well up behind her lids at a memory from months previously.

_"Come on Jane, this exhibit is the only of its kind to ever come to Boston. I do not wish to miss this, even if it's for you."_

_"Wow, Maur. You really know how to make a girl feel loved." Jane appeared from the kitchen, sandwich in hand._

_"JANE! Appetizers will be served, there is no need for you to be eating right now."_

_"Yeah, cos that food is just so filling." She deadpanned. "Seriously Maura, just...gimme a minute. I'll eat and drive if necessary."_

_"I do not think so Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" The blonde screeched at a much higher pitch than her usual."Not only do I hate it almost as much as when you change and drive, but last time you put fluff all over my seats. And you don't want to know how much it cost to clean."_

_Jane flinched away from the glare Maura was giving her, finding it slightly arousing at the same time. Shaking her head in an attempt to clear herself from the thoughts she long ago forbade herself from thinking, she said, "Alright, alright. I'll eat it now. Happy?"_

_"Very. Now, let's go!" She swiped Jane on her _glutemous-maximus _as she'd called it, teasingly on her way past Jane to the door. Jane jumped slightly and just stared at Maura's retreating figure. Finally coming out of her daze, and putting the last of her sandwich in her mouth, she left the house, locking the door with a love struck grin on her face._

"Jane? Jane!"

"Huh? What...Arizona, urm...yeah. What?" She frowned.

"You okay, hun? You kinda spaced out then" Arizona was looking into her eyes concerned, cupping Jane's cheek soothingly. When Jane realised the position they were in, she flinched away, tearing the blondes hand from her face. Arizona was stunned, her hand still in the same place it was before. Eventually, after a few moments silence, she lowered it, looking questioningly at Jane.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "You just...you made me remember something. Something I wanted to forget."

"About her?"

"...Yeah." She nodded.

Arizona stared at her broken friend, seeing the emotional struggle she was going through, and sighed. "How about we don't go?" She stopped Jane before she had chance to interrupt. "No. This is not as important to me as you are Jane. There will be other shows. There will never be another you. So I will call, I will cancel the tickets, and we will go back to your apartment, order pizza and watch some crappy cop show till we fall asleep, okay?"

Jane just looked at Arizona. She hadn't felt this loved since before the wedding. Sighing in relief, she stood and enveloped the blonde in a warm hug. "Thank you Arizona. You are amazing."

"I do try."

"Modest too." They both laughed. "I love you Arizona, you know that right?"

Smiling sweetly, she nodded at the detective, before grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the door.

-x-

"Oh god, I don't remember the last time I had a pizza that good." Jane patted her stomach as she lay back on the sofa. Arizona chuckling at her actions, made herself comfortable next to her.

"I told you so. That parlor down the street does not deserve it's health certificate." She sat grinning to herself before she realised Jane hadn't responded. She turned to see Jane drifting off to sleep. Smiling at the peaceful look on her face, Arizona went to pull the blanket down on top of Jane, but stopped when Jane jumped off the chair clamping a hand to her neck.

"Argh. Something just bit me!" Arizona grabbed her arm, pulling her back down to the couch and leant in to the detectives neck to inspect the issue. Both too caught up in the dilemma of Jane's sudden "injury", neither heard the door open until...

"...Jane?"

* * *

**A/N: So, there you go. I know it's not that good, and a bit rushed. I knew how I wanted to end it but I wasn't really sure how to get there :S I hope it was alright!**

**I will try to update asap! I promise! Bye y'alllll :)  
**


	5. Behaviour

**A/N: Hey guys. Sorry this has taken so long. Uni life and shizzles really ain't helped my writing that much :S It's a lot shorter than the other chapters and I don't really like it all that much, but I felt like I owed you guys. So this is Maura's side of it all. I hope it's alright. I may edit at a later date, but if I do, I will let you know so you can reread it if you want to! So yeah, I'll try and get Chapter 6 done and up asap! Sorry again guys!**

* * *

The night before the wedding, Maura had sat alone in her study staring at the blank piece of paper on her desk. She'd offered to help Jane write her vows but now she was actually doing it, she didn't have a clue what to write. Normally, she was so good with words. But she felt like she was in a trap. She'd always known she loved her best friend, but also always knew Jane would never reciprocate the feelings, that they'd never be together romantically. But never did she consider Jane finding someone else. Especially not ending up with Casey. So having to write these vows for the Detective was breaking her heart.

She didn't have long to finish them. Jane was due to arrive in 20 minutes and would be expecting them to be ready. Maura sighed, _I need to write from the heart. _So, closing her eyes, Maura imagined herself stood at the altar, hands outstretched and linked with the brunettes. She imagined herself smiling, full of joy at the look of pure bliss on Jane's face. She imagined what she'd say to her, in that moment, and wrote what she thought on the sheet.

**_"I love you. I love you so much, it physically hurts sometimes, but not...not in a bad way. It lets me know I'm loved back, that I have a reason to wake up in a morning. When I see you, lay next to me, smiling in your sleep, I always have this overwhelming sense of home. You are my home and I wouldn't want it any other way. We may argue and complain about things the other does, but everything you do do, makes you the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and I can't wait."_**

Maura slowly opened her eyes to look at the piece of writing below her. _I should be saying this to her. Not her to...to **him. **_Staring at the words, she never noticed a lone tear finding its way down her cheek until it fell from her face and landed on the paper. "Oh no!" She murmured, jolted from her thoughts. She quickly moved the sheet to the side to dry and paused, looking at the pile of paper on the desk. Biting her lip, she pulled a new sheet out from the stack to her right, simply writing on it, "I'm in love with you." She then folded both sheets and placed them in separate envelopes, before sealing them. For once in her life, she was going to let fate decide what happened.

-x-

"Come on, Maur!" she whined. "This is my last night of...unmarried life. You have to take me to a strip club or something as gross and cliche as that!"

"Jane, honestly. You don't want to go to a strip club. They're sweaty and smelly and full of creepy old men."

"I meant a strip club where the guys strip Maur. You know...boys. Those human beings, with penises. Remember them?"

"What...oh, yes, of course. Fine then. If you really want to go, I shall take you."

"No. Maura, you know I don't want to go. But there's something wrong with you, so spill!" She flopped down dramatically onto the blondes couch, however, still being careful enough to keep the beer in her hand steady. The blonde was next her moments later; however, was keeping an unusual distance.

"Nothing is the matter. Why would something be wrong? You're getting married tomorrow and everything is going to be...perfect."

"Is that it Maur? Is me getting married tomorrow what is wrong?" She received no reply. "Come on Maura. Your lucky guy will turn up soon. I promise."

"No, Jane. That's not it. Besides, I don't feel like marriage is for me anyway. I've even considered freezing my eggs."

"Woahhhhh." Jane backed away. "TMI Maura. TMI. But if that's not it, then what is?" Maura just looked down, avoiding any contact with Jane. The detective cautiously reached across, lightly grabbed the smaller womans arms. Feeling her tense underneath her fingers, she pulled back sharply. "Seriously Maura, what is wrong? If you don't want me to get married...I won't."

"NO! Jane, no. That's not what I want. I just...what if I lose you?" She whispered the last part, as if just asking would cause her friend to immediately disappear.

"That's what you're afraid of?" she frowned. She couldn't believe that her normally logical best friend was so troubled by this. Pulling the doctor into her arms, she comforted her. Both physically and emotionally as she wept silently. Once she'd mostly calmed, Jane pulled back, holding Maura's face to look her in the arm. "You will never lose me Maura. Me and Casey getting married changes nothing."

"It changes everything Jane! It already has." She pulled away. "When was the time we had a sleepover? Or just go to the robber for drinks after work?" Jane opened her mouth, eyes looking off into a distance as she tried to remember. "Exactly Jane. He's already taken you away from me. Soon, you're going to be gone completely. With the rest of your family and friends that have become my family. I'll be alone, again. I know I'm being selfish, but I just can't handle losing everything now."

"Maura, stop. You won't lose me. I refuse to let that happen. You're my best friend Maur and if Casey can't accept that, then maybe I shouldn't be marrying him."

"Jane!" Maura groaned. "You're being ridiculous. You will marry Casey. I will not be the reason you call off your wedding. I_ can't_ be the reason you don't go through with it. If you really don't want to, then don't marry him. It's your choice, just don't bring me into this." She swallowed a lump in her throat. _Stop being so emotional. Detached is what you do best._ Closing her eyes she sighed, softly.

"Casey can't...won't, destroy this friendship either. He's not like that. I'm sorry Maur. But you know I would never use you an excuse, right? At least not for something like this." Maura was silent, eyes still closed and head tilted towards the floor. "Do you want me to leave?" She shook her head. _ I never want you to leave. Don't leave me. _Jane didn't know what to do. That was, until she saw Maura's shoulders shake. Frowning, she moved closer and her Maura sob loudly. Immediately she enveloped her best friend within her arms for the second time in not barely 5 minutes and just held her until she calmed.

"I'm sorry Jane. I think everything has just gotten too much for me. I've not been sleeping and all the excitement...I'm not used to being involved in stuff like this. My body just isn't coping too well with it all." Stepping out of her friends arm, she raised her head to meet the eyes of the brunette.

"What is wrong with us tonight? You with your mood swings and me with my...god knows what. We're being silly. We should be having fun and doing girly things together." Jane cringed.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry. I ruined your night."

"No, you didn't. You're here, and that makes it perfect."

* * *

**A/N: So, be truthful with me. How bad was this? I'm so sorry for making you read that. But I promise to do better from now on! Hopefully (I do have essays to do this weekend but after that I will put all my attention into this! AGAIN. I'M SORRY)**


	6. AUTHORS NOTE

**Possible spoiler alert. I should really know, but it's almost 5am now that I've wrote it and I can't really work it out. I'm sorry.  
**

**Also, sorry if I sound super mean and stuff. Again, tired, and this just got to me after an already bad day. But if this makes you want to stop reading my story, then that's alright. I get it :) I hope you had fun reading it up to now and maybe you'll read my future stuff? Anyway.  
**

**But yeah, it's just an authors note in reply to a review. You don't have to read (I probably wouldn't unless I was the guest who left the review)  
**

**BUT FOR EVERYONE. KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS THREE MONTHS LATER. NO TALK OF WHAT HAPPENED THOSE MONTHS HAS OCCURED YET. SO DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS.  
**

This is in reply to the super long guest. I don't think I'm giving any spoilers for the story, but if I do, I'm super sorry! So be warned that that may be a possible thing.

(to everyone else...you can obvs still read this, you may wanna read their review first so you will know what I'm talking about...but a new chapter should be posted this afternoon (british time))

Okay. Normally, I love reviews. I really appreciate them and their feedback and how to write and you know, maybe a couple of ideas for the storyline, but I do not appreciate being told that I am completely wrong with where I have chosen to take my story. This is my story, you questioning every little thing and telling me it is "un-necessary" is not going to change the way I write it. I'm not going to start going off on one, but if it sounds like that, take that as being because it is half 4 in the morning, kay?

Right, first, do you honestly think I would make it so that Jane just stopped caring the moment she met arizona and found out Maura has gone? You need to bear in mind that this is 3 months later. 12 weeks. A lot can happen in that time. And Jane doesn't like to be held back by things, she would try to go on with her life if something happened as quickly as she could.

In my mind, I see it as this. Maura is Jane's LLBFF. They are soulmates or whatever. But that doesn't stop Jane from being allowed to have other friends. She is allowed a life away from Maura. Arizona knows what Jane has been going through the past 3 months, so yeah, they're close. This is a tough time for Jane, she's been through a lot and maybe, she just wants a break from it? You need to remember, that in Chapter 4...Jane flinches away from Arizona because she doesn't like the position. Arizona cares for Jane, as Jane does Arizona. They're all each other have had for the past 3 months, that's bound to build some sort of strong friendship. If this character wasn't implied to be Maura's sister, I bet you wouldn't have an issue with it, would you?

Again, I repeat that this is 3 months later. I haven't talked about what Jane has done in that time, so please don't jump to conclusions that I don't know or understand the character. (yeah...I may not totally, but I like to think I got a pretty good jist of her)

So, you've never said I love you to a best friend, huh? In a friendly way, just showing your gratitude for something? These two have been friends for 3 months, just them two. They barely have anyone else. I don't want to keep repeating myself, but I feel the need to emphasis that they now probably know when they're friend could do with having a nice relaxing normal night.

Also, your suggesting that Jane isn't allowed to tease or have fun anymore because she should be out looking for Maura instead of just trying to live her life? She was just complimenting her in her own way. It's called having a laugh with a friend. She does this with Frost all the time, is she flirting with him? In 3x01, Jane and Frost joke about him putting a gun down his pants and there not being space. How is this different?

Going back a bit now, my whole point with a flashback was because we don't know whats been happening. this is Maura's side of it all, how she feels about it. I figured this would make for a better story than an entire chapter of having Maura talking about what she did. Instead, this way, you can see how maura feels when she does what she does. I just felt like that would be better.

Why is what they say flirting though? Can they not just be two friends who care about each other? Who've had to rely on each other for all forms of support and friendship for months to the point where they genuinely just care a lot and want to make sure they're happy? They're the best things in each others lives atm. If they didn't have each other, they'd have no one. You're asking me to get rid of Janes only friend at this time. Someone who helped her stand when she didn't want to.

I don't want to sound rude or anything, but please remember this is my story. I have a plan for this. Just because it doesn't fit what you want to happen...when do stories ever do this?

To the other guest(unless you're the same): This is a Rizzles story. Put as Jane/Maura romance. If it wasn't going to be, I would have done Jane/OC.

And seriously, when was it once mentioned that all Jane did for 3 months was make a new friend? Of course she's going to have looked for Maura, of course she didn't get over her instantly, if she even is over her.

Also, please stop freakin' assuming you know what I'm writing and how I think I'm writing it. Jane and Arizona are friends, who care for each other and can have some sort a laugh to try and live with how their lives have turned out.

I've always thought that good and bad reviews were good, and then they help you along the path to being a better writer. But I can't cope with this.

**I hope this helps guest. I don't know what else to say just...wait will ya? things like this get explained.**

**I hope you come back to read more, if not...then I'll see you around maybe.  
**


	7. Family

**A/N: Hey guys. (long authors note ahead. You can skip it altogether, or skip and come back or whatever :P sorry about the length, but it just fits better here than at the end) Quite quick with this update, right? :P I don't know if I've said before, but this ain't beta'd, so all mistakes are my own. Because it is my story. I'm sorry for the ranty authors note, I just felt a need to defend my choices in the story. But I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have needed to. This is my story and I get to chose how to write it. So, from now on, I'm not going to get too stressed by all the harsh anon reviews. Haters are gonna hate, but I shouldn't write to please them all. I'm writing for myself. I love this story, and I'm not going to stop writing because of a few bad reviews. Saying that, I did take a bit into account. I cut the flashback to before the wedding right down. It's that second section. It's rubbish, and sounds like a 5 year old wrote it, but whatever. I hope you like the rest of it. Yes, it's still Maura's side of what happened, but you don't like, don't read.**

**Also, this is a RIZZLES story. Not Jane/OC. So, please stop telling me that Jane and Arizona are gonna get it on, cos it's not that kinda story.  
**

**AND (last point) please stop hating on Arizona. She's Jane's only friend over the past few months. Just as Jane as been hers, remember she has gone through something too. They care about each other, and they value their friendship a lot, because it's all they've had. So no, I won't get rid of her. Like I said, if you don't like don't read.**

* * *

Maura awoke with a start. She was having the same dream over and over. No, not a dream. It was a memory. Jane's wedding day to be exact. It had been playing behind her eyelids every time she closed her eyes, invading every part of her life. She didn't want to go back to that day, that's why she was in Florida, visiting her biological mother. She wanted time away from everything that reminded her of Jane but she was still there, always there, making Maura feel things that she shouldn't be feeling. She couldn't believe what she'd done. She'd changed her mind the morning of the wedding and had thrown away the paper declaring her love for Jane, and went and told Jane anyway. It was so un-Maura like. She couldn't work out what had come over her and figured the fresh southern air would her some good, even if she knew that something as simple as air could not change thought patterns.

Still, she left and ever since, she's dreamt of that day.

-x-

She'd ran from the church and got into the first cab she found. She was lucky, it seemed to be the only one on the road and she couldn't risk Jane going after her. Once she was home, it didn't take her long to decide what to do. Having already packed to go on her "trip", all she had to do was arrange with Hope to meet her at Orlando International Airportearlier than planned. Looking at her phone, she knew she couldn't keep it on her, she'd be too tempted to answer it if called, or to ring Jane when she was feeling sad and alone. Making a flash decision, she turned the phone off and left it on her dresser, before running downstairs and out the door to where the taxi from earlier was still waiting for her and drove her to her to the airport.

-x-

She tiredly stumbled down the stairs, careful not to fall down the thin steps. Reaching the kitchen at the bottom, she could already smell coffee brewing.

"Ah, Maura. You're awake." Hope was stood next to the coffee machine, pouring the hot brown liquid into two very delicate looking mugs. Sliding on gracefully across the table to her daughter, she asked, "Still not sleeping?"

"No. It will take time though. I need to recover emotionally and until I do that, I doubt I will get any sleep at all."

"It's been 2 months Dr Isles, this must be taking its toll physically as well as mentally."

"It is, but I can cope. And please, Hope, we decided to call each other by our forenames for now. No professional names at all, it complicates things." She smiled lightly. She hadn't really smiled for a long time now. _I haven't smiled since Jane. _She received a smile in return, but no spoken reply. The woman was becoming too good at reading her un-dead daughter, and knew what was going through her mind. In an effort to take focus away for herself, she shot it back at the older woman. "Have you heard from Arizona yet?"

"Yes. Nothing more than an "I am safe" though. I suppose I should be happy with that, but I can't help worry. After the way things were left, I just want to talk to her. Get her to understand why I didn't tell her about you sooner. I barely understood what was happening myself, how does she expect me to have been able to tell her?"

"I understand. When I found out who you were, I didn't tell anyone about it. J...Jane only knew because she knows me better than anyone else. She could...sense it I guess. Something about her gut. I still don't understand how people can rely on their intestines." She shook her head, slightly distracted. That was an effect of the constant tiredness, Maura had discovered. She couldn't concentrate on anything for a long period of time anymore. She almost resorted to using instant coffee because she didn't have the patience to wait for the "good stuff" and she'd forget about it half way through making it. Shaken back into reality, she looked around rapidly before settling on Hopes face. "I'm sorry...what?"

She chuckled, "I asked if you'd decided what you were going to do? Are you going to go back to Boston? Back to Jane?" The temperature in the room felt like it suddenly dropped, Maura tensed. She didn't want this conversation, wasn't ready for it. How was she supposed to be? The love of her life was off living a happily married life with her _perfect _husband.

"I'm going to go back in a few weeks, collect the rest of my things and bring them back here. I've narrowed houses down to 5 choices and I should have picked one by the time I get back from Boston at the latest."

"And what about Jane?"

"She won't be there. She still has another 3 and a half weeks of honeymoon. I'll be there and back again before she returns."

"She'll still be on honeymoon?" Hope was shocked. Even though she had not spent much time with the woman, she knew through Maura that she was a hard worker and wouldn't take that much time off work. "She's having a 3 month honeymoon?"

"Oh! No, of course not. Jane loves her work too much. They were having a two week honeymoon immediately after the wedding, then they were going to be here for 6 weeks, officially move into her apartment whilst looking for a house, and then they were having just over 4 weeks second honeymoon. So she'll be nearing the end of that one when I go back. So I won't have to see her."

Hope seem satisfied with what Maura's decision was and left it at that, leaving not long after to attend to a consult on a case with the local police. Maura decided to stay in today and sat on the couch with Hopes laptop on her lap. Shopping for shoes for always Maura's escape from the world. It had been a while since she had done this also, hoping to keep under the radar by not using cards. She knew Jane would have Frost track them once she realised Maura wasn't coming back, and she didn't want to be found. She ordered a pair to help her in her new direction in life, to try to become herself again. Signing into her email to await the confirmation of her order she scanned the other emails in her inbox, seeing that most of them were from Jane. She hadn't thought about this, hadn't planned what to do if she found herself in this situation. She couldn't help herself and clicked on the most recently received mail.

"From: Detective Jane Rizzoli ( )

To: Doctor Maura Isles (maura. )

Maura,

This is it. My last email. My last anything. I can't do this anymore. I've been looking for you for two months and there is no trace of you anywhere. Maybe you were in an accident and have lost your memory, or worse...god, I don't even want to think about that. Not with what I'm about to say. I'm stopping. I'm letting you be free. If you even read these that is. I'm assuming these are sending anyway, as they don't bounce back or anything. Anyway, I won't bother you in any way anymore. You can use your cards again, your phone, everything. I won't come looking for you. I need to move on. This has caused me so much pain that I didn't even know I could feel, that I need to just be me again. When you left, you took a part of me with you and I need to begin repairing and replacing it. But you also need to be able to move on too, and trying to chase you around the country isn't helping that. I'm sorry for everything that has happened these past few months, and I hope your happy wherever you are.

Thank you for the amazing years you gave me as your friend. I will never forget you.

I will always love you Maura. Don't ever doubt that.

- Jane"

By the time she finished reading, tears were rolling down her cheeks. She couldn't help it. Her Jane had looked for her. Her Jane, who she'd left broken and stranded, never gave up on her. Jane still cared after what Maura had done and after she was married. Everything Maura thought was going to happen didn't. She physically began to feel ill. She couldn't believe she'd thrown it all away for nothing. She scrolled down to the first email from Jane in her inbox, intent on reading them all, but a car door closing outside shocked her, and she closed the laptop in order to hide them. Wiping her eyes, she put the laptop back where she found it just as Hope walked through the door.

"Hope, I thought you weren't due back for a few hours?"

"I left some important papers in my office that I needed to come back for." She eyed the younger woman suspiciously. A light redness was forming around Maura's eyes, a tell tale sign of crying. "Is everything alright dear?"

"Yes." She replied quickly. "Of course it is, why wouldn't it be?"

"You know you can talk to me Maura. That was the intent of this _trip, _correct?"

Maura paused, unsure of whether to tell the woman of what she read or not. A quiver of her lip startled her. Knowing she would not be able to keep it a secret no matter how hard she tried, she told her mother what she read, and her decision to return to Boston, to her home, as soon as she could.

-x-

"You'll keep me posted about Arizona, won't you? I would love to meet her, if I ever get the chance."

"Of course Maura. She is your sister, your family and she will just have to accept that. You have every right to get to know her." The younger doctor grinned at the elder woman. She'd never felt like she belonged, other than when she became friends with Jane. But the past 3 months with Hope, had changed that. She had a family, one she was related one. She wasn't alone anymore. In any sense. Obviously, she still loved her family Jane gave her, they would always be the most important people in her life, but she didn't have to feel like they were all she had anymore. She was growing in herself. As much as she hated the time away from Jane, from everything she loved, it helped her. She was no longer afraid of people judging her. She knew it would always happen, but those people didn't matter to her. Their opinions didn't affect her life. All that mattered were her family...families. She didn't need to bother with everyone else. Not when she had people who loved her already.

"Thank you for everything Hope." She smirked, "Mom"

Hope laughed, still unused to being in such a different relationship with her biological daughter. After Maura shared with her a month earlier, they became a lot closer. It was still awkward. Maura already had a Mother and a Father, whom she loved, but now she had a Mom. Someone to talk to, to share with. It was new and fresh, but nice. They both were happy with where they were now.

"Ring me when you land? Make sure you keep your carry on safe and all other valuables. I'll send everything in a few days."

Maura was overcome with emotion, her eyes began to water at the motherly behaviour. "I will. I've loved these past few months. I can never repay you Hope."

"Just be happy Maura. Go get your family back!"

-x-

A few hours later, her plane had landed in Boston and she'd already been back to her house to unpack her things. She'd never gotten round to selling the house, but a lot of the furniture was in storage in Florida ready for her to move out of Hopes house when she found somewhere new. Luckily, she hadn't taken her bed or kitchen stuff over yet, so she still had some things to use. Feeling nostalgic, she decided she'd go take a look at Jane's apartment, on last time, before going over to Casey's to speak to her friend.

Heading into the apartment block, she didn't notice the light on in Jane's window. She ran, very unladylike, up the stairs to apartment 12 and found the old key she had for the flat. Putting the key into the hole, she hesitated. _ What if someone new moved in already? What if it's somebody doing...stuff in the lounge._ Deciding to be quick and quiet, she turned the key and opened the door slowly. Light filtered into the hallway, but Maura was frozen. A brunette woman was sat on the sofa with a smart looking blonde, in what looked like a very compromising position. She was about to back away when she heard a groan and the brunette turned her face slightly. Maura gasped in disbelief.

"Jane?"

* * *

**A/N: There you go :) You like? I'll be as quick as I can with the next update but I do have two assignments to write this weekend! (whoops)**


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